As most of my family and friends know, we are expecting our second child.
Since the day I had Eli, I always wanted another baby. My husband was determined to wait as long as possible, until he finally caved. Looking back, I am grateful for him making us wait this long; this is truly the right time for us, for many reasons.
Eli has needed so much of my attention; he has been in therapy since he was 18 months old. Sure, I could absolutely have another child while my first child is in therapy, I see plenty of mothers in the waiting room with their other children. However, for me, giving Eli my full attention was necessary. There were times he needed me back in his therapy rooms during a meltdown, how could I give him my full attention with a brother or sister attached to my hip? I wanted to be able to give him all I had while he needed it. This time for him before kindergarten is the most critical and intense for his therapy regimen. Everyone wants to get as many hours as they can so he can be school ready. Life is busy enough chauffeuring him all over San Diego to different appointments, throwing in a nursing newborn would have drained me even more.
Aside from Eli deserving my attention, we also needed to consider his emotions in having a second child. Would he have accepted a sibling a year or two ago? He needed so much of our attention because he didn’t talk until he was 3 ½. He needed us to be able to hear him even when he couldn’t say anything. How could he get across to me what he needed while I was occupied with another tiny human? He was already having so many tantrums back then from not being able to communicate, what would his tantrums be like if I was too busy to help him? He has loved his cousin since she was born, but she didn’t live with us and didn’t take up all my time. Yes, a child should learn to wait their turn, but that is a lot easier said than done with Eli. He’s better now, but back then waiting wasn’t really an option (without a tantrum in tow).
Now that we have a second baby in the making, I wanted to make sure Eli knew what happening so there were no surprises. He went with me to my first doctor appointment and he saw the baby on the ultrasound. Everything was pointed out to him, I told him where the baby was growing. He told everyone there was a baby in mommy’s tummy. When asked If the baby was a boy or a girl he would always answer It’s a boy. When we finally found out that the baby is in fact a girl, he didn’t take the news that well. No tantrums, but he still insisted it’s a boy. The doctor must be wrong… He is finally coming around to the idea of having a sister. All this interacting and interest with my pregnancy shows me that Eli was ready for this. He is old enough to understand what’s happening. He is also quite fond of my newest niece and loves babysitting. He likes to be near her and help take care of her. He will ask to hold her and if she is upset he will lean down and try to cheer her up with silly faces.
As far as our busy schedule goes, it will still be pretty busy for me. We both know what to expect when we make our move back to San Diego though and hopefully it won’t be too hard to fall back in to our old schedules. Plus, there’s only a short amount of time until Eli will start Kindergarten (stop, I’m not even ready to think about that yet). Another thought that crossed my mind is- what if this baby has delays like Eli’s? What if she is diagnosed with autism too? I don’t really have any fears about it. So, what if she does? I am more prepared and experienced that a lot of other people out there. I know exactly what to look for, I know what resources to get, I know exactly what my insurance will pay for, and all the hoops I will need to jump through. I’m already bringing one child to therapy all week, might as well just throw them both in there at the same time!
We couldn’t be more excited to bring another bundle into the world and for our little family the time is just right!
Mastering Motherhood 