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Posted in family, momlife, motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized

Mommy Remixes

My life, as you may know by now, is very isolated. I spend most of my day inside the house with children. Things are bound to get a little loopy, right? One thing I like to do is sing. Before I go any further, let’s be clear- I like to sing, but I CAN’T sing. I am horrible. However, singing helps with my anxiety, it lightens the mood, it fills empty silence, and sometimes it makes my kids laugh! One thing I like to do is change lyrics to songs and make it my own. If I sing a remix to a song from one of Camille’s favorite movies she recognizes it immediately. I’m sure you won’t be impressed, but here they are…


Semisonic- Closing time

Closing time.
One last call for sippy cups, so finish your water or milk
Closing time.
You don’t have to go to sleep just get the hell away frooooom me.



(Real version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGytDsqkQY8


Moana- Where You Are

Camille.
Get uuuuuuup. Get uuuuup.
Camille it’s time for you to get up and take brother to schoooooool. 


(Real version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVzDrqOmYiY


Dr Dre/Eminem- Forgot About Dre

When the cops came through me and eli stood next to a broken down fort.
With a hand full of blankets. Hand full of chairs. Still wouldn’t find out. 



(Real version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFcv5Ma8u8k


Queen- Bohemian Rhapsody

Maaaamaaaaaa
Just lost her shit
Threw out all her kids junk,
Drank some wine and now she’s drunk. 
Maaaaamaaaaa
Your kids day had just begun
But now you’ve gone sent them to their rooms. 
Maaamaaaa ooh ooh
Didn’t mean to make you mad
If this shit isn’t picked up by tomorrow,
You’re kicked ouuuut. You’re kicked out.



(Real Version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ9rUzIMcZQ


Spice Girls-Wannabe

If ya wanna be my daughter,
Ya gotta clean up your room. 
I know it won’t last forever,
The bullshit never eeeeeends!


(Real version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJLIiF15wjQ


Carly Rae Jepson- Call Me Maybe

Hey I just birthed you
And this is crazy 
But here’s my nipple
So shred it, maybe!



(Real version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWNaR-rxAic


Lou Bega- Mambo no. 5

1,2,3,4,5
Everybody in the carseats 
So come on lets ride
To the ice cream shop around the corner
My kids really want a couple cones
But I really don’t wanna
Hungover from my wine last night
Sunglasses on my face cuz the sun is bright
I got Eli, Camille, Avery, and Kenzie
And as I continue you know they’re getting crazy.



(Real version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK_LN3XEcnw


Michael Jackson- Beat it

I told you don’t you ever come around me
Don’t wanna see your drawing, you really need to flee 
There’s crazy in their eyes, I gotta get free
So ditch em, just ditch em.
You better run, you better leave while you can,
Dad just got in the door, kids think he’s superman.
Don’t try to pretend, better leave while you can.
So ditch em, but you wanna be nice.
Just ditch em.



(Real version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRdxUFDoQe0


ABBA- Dancing Queen

You are the pooping queen
Young and gross
It’s only 9:15
Pooping queen
Feel the heat from the bath, get clean ooooh yeah.
You can poop
You can fart
Having the time of your life
Ooooh, see that girl
Smell that smell
Dig in the pooping queen.



(Real version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFrGuyw1V8s


Pharrell Williams- Happy

Because I’m tiiiiiiired
Clap along if you feel like you need some more coffee
Because I’m tiiiiiiiiired.
Clap along if you feel like you wanna go back to bed
Because I’m tiiiiiiiired.
Clap along if you feel like thats what you wanna do.



(Real version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbZSe6N_BXs

Posted in family, motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized

Round 2

When Eli was Diagnosed with autism around 4 years ago the doctor told me there would be about a 20% chance of my next child also having autism. (Yes people, genetics, not the measles vaccine. So vaccinate your kids!) So, when Camille came around, I watched, listened, and observed everything she did. A rule of thumb of parenting is never compare your children to other kids (yeah, right.) It is a very important rule to follow though. Every child develops at their own pace. Just because little Timmy is walking at 9 months does NOT mean your child is behind because she is not doing it yet. If your nephew is speaking three word sentences at 12 months it does NOT mean your own son is behind because he can only say 5 words total. Our children hit their milestones at their own pace. They will deal with peer pressure in grade school so let’s not instill self-esteem issues yet!

All that being said, when DO you start to worry about where your child is developmentally? I don’t believe there is a real answer for that. I think, as a mother, you just know. 

Today’s world makes it so easy for parents to get their children evaluated for FREE through the state. Each state has their own fully funded programs. In Michigan, we have the EarlyOn program. When we arrived to Michigan I didn’t waste any time getting Camille evaluated.

So what was it about Camille that made me get her evaluated?

-Her gross motor milestones were always met, but a little behind
-Babbling was very delayed. She didn’t start actively babbling until around 18mo.
-She doesn’t play with toys as expected- she prefers to just hold items and walk around with them. She chooses to play with household items (shoes, dusters, etc.) vs baby toys. For a while between 12-18mo, she would only open and close doors and cabinets for entertainment.
-She walks very cautiously. She does not walk on uneven ground (grass, sand), she is uncertain when stepping across different floor types or over lips/lines.
-Does not climb on/off furniture. She does not attempt to climb stairs. She cannot get down from very low furniture (example- her 12′ toddler bed.) She will drop an object to the floor to judge how high up she is.
since becoming diagnosed she has attempted the stairs and crawling on . some furniture.
-She does not like a lot of touches- face wipes, washing hair, diaper changes, etc.
-She does not respond to her name or react when spoken to.
-She does not recognize or interact with other children/adults. She will allow other to be in her general proximity but other than that she does not pay them any attention.
-Little eye contact
-No mimicking. She does not copy other’s actions, repeat sounds. She will not point to objects.
-She likes thin items on her lips and around her mouth. Hair, hair ties, shoe laces, strings, etc. I would like to clarify that she doesn’t eat or even chew these things. She just likes the feeling of them on her lips.


To someone who has no experience with any of this, the evaluation process can be very, very overwhelming. There are so many people involved, multiple evaluations, and lots of paperwork. With my first born, Eli, I remember feeling overwhelmed, scared, sad, so many emotions. I felt unorganized. With Camille when the people involved started over-explaining the process to help me understand I politely said “Listen, this isn’t my first rodeo. I’m good. Do ya thang girl.” Honestly the best advice I can give to someone going through this the first time- relax and take the backseat. The professionals with these programs know what they’re doing. They help you every step of the way. The best thing a parent can do is get out of your own way. Let them help you with everything. 

After Camille’s evaluation process, she was placed in the moderate-severe autism range. Because she was evaluated through the School system/ EarlyOn program, this is what’s called an educational diagnosis. In another blog I will get into the difference between an educational diasgnosis of autism vs a medical diagnosis. The important thing to know for now is an educational diagnosis determines if a child meets the qualifications needed to receive special education services through the school system and is not a “firm diagnosis”. A medical diagnosis is a true diagnosis and opens the door for insurance supported therapy services.

So now what? We start by making a list of goals to work towards. For example, one goal is to get her to make independent choices for meals by using picture cards (PECS). Another is to get Camille to play more with age appropriate toys vs household items. We focus on the areas that are most important to improve. Keep your expectations low! Sometimes they take a while, AND THAT’S FINE!

Additionally, Camille is receiving in-home speech therapy. We will also soon begin occupational therapy, and perhaps Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy. 

Getting an autism diagnosis for your child is a very overwhelming, scary thing. This, however, is one that I was waiting for. I knew the odds and I was prepared. If anyone can embrace this challenge for a second time, it’s me. I am ready for this next chapter in my parenting world. I look forward to sharing this journey with others and hope that by telling our story, we can help other parents out there who may be going through something similar!

Posted in family, motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized

Struggles of a stay at home mom

Being a stay at home mom is not a glamorous lifestyle, despite what you may see on Instagram. It’s not all mommy playgroups, matching mommy/child outfits, or blissful round the clock playtime.

I start my day with two cups of coffee. My hair is in a messy bun, and my robe is tied tight. By the time I drop my son off at school I have clothes on (granted, its usually stretch pants and a sweatshirt), my hair is usually not brushed, contacts not in yet, and no makeup. If you think it gets better by school pick-up, you’d probably be wrong. It’s not that I DONT have time to get ready for the day, but whats the point? The majority of my day is wiping butts, making food, cleaning, working on my computer, playing with baby toys, etc. My life is 99% inside the house. The lazy girl inside me is like “yes! I love being home and in pajamas”; but the overall human being in me gets stir crazy. My life is 24/7 kids. I yearn for adult interaction. This lifestyle is very isolating. 

Kids are loud, dirty, talkative, annoying, messy, emotional, rude. This job gets few thank-yous, little to no recognition, there is no pay, no sick days, and ridiculous hours. All that being said, it is the best job I’ve ever had. Wait, what? Honestly, yes. Despite how difficult and draining this life is, being able to watch your kids discover new things, hit new milestones, grow, and find new interests, is something not everyone gets to witness everyday. It is not taken for granted by me. I get moments that working parents don’t always get. Stay at home mothers don’t have an easy life, but neither do working parents. The grass is always greener, isn’t it?

Working parents get to have a life outside of their children and their house, they make their own hard-earned money, they get independence, they live a life for themselves. I am missing out on all of those things. I have no life; and not in the sense like I’m a loser with no friends who wants to go out and party. I mean- I have no life. My children are my life. Every choice I make, every move made, every purchase, every agenda on our daily schedule, EVERYTHING is about them. What about me? My dreams, my needs, my time? Being a stay at home parent day in-day out is making me lose myself. The flip side to this is working parents wanting more time with their families, playing with their children, enjoying their house, having time to relax. I think there are times we can be jealous of each other and our parental situations- and we shouldn’t. Again, the grass is always greener. No parenting style is above the other. No mother is above another. There are going to be pros and cons with any type of parenting.

We need to be grateful for the lives that we have. I would love having my own career, having some independence, but I am so grateful for being able to be there 100% for my kids. I love being around them all the time (despite how much they annoy me most of the time).

This upcoming Mother’s Day, take the time to appreciate BEING a mother, no matter what kind of mother you are. Whether you’re working to live out your dream, to provide financially for your children, to make the world a better place, or whether you’re staying home to raise your beautiful children— Be happy just being a mother. Being a mother, of ANY kind, is a hard f***ing job. Now go brush your teeth and get yourself and iced coffee, because damn it, we deserve it. 

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

Minecraft Mama

Most of our children’s interests change at the drop of a hat. They watch the same show on a loop, until one day, they accidentally watch something else and leech on to that show. They only want to eat Mac n Cheese shapes for weeks on end, until suddenly- “I don’t like those anymore”. They might beg us for matchbox cars then after a few plays, they’re never touched again.

Eli is a creature of habit. He likes the same foods, the same shows, the same handful of toys. Sometimes he ventures out be he almost always sticks to his few things. So when he asked me to buy Minecraft on his Ipad for $8 I thought “MMMMMMM NAH.” I just knew that if I spent that much money on a game he had never played before (but watched other kids play on youtube) that he would get bored and I’d be out $8. Boy was I wrong.

I finally caved and bought it. There was definitely some stumbling blocks while we both tried to figure out how to play the game. Since we figured it (mostly) out he is obsessed. He watched youtube tutorials on the tv while he plays the game so he can learn new tricks. The creativity he shows in this game is amazing. He is so smart and creative and makes awesome things. He even started recording himself while he plays for his own youtube channel just like the guys he loves to watch. It is amazing watching your child discover their passions, and I truly do think that’s what Minecraft is for him. It’s not just playing video games for him- he’s creating.

When his birthday started to come around it was a no brainer what we were going to do. I immediately headed to Pinterest to get some DIY ideas. Staying home with my kids gives me plenty of time to get some crap put together. I always underestimate how much harder, and usually more expensive, DIY projects can be. Nonetheless, I am very impressed with myself. Who actually pins stuff from Pinterest AND follows through with them!?!?

I documented some of my creations below and in case anyone is interested, wrote quick notes on how to make them! Enjoy!

Poke-A-Prize

What you need:
Large rectangular cardboard box
Box cutter
tissue paper
plastic cups
Hot Glue Gun
Spray Paint

In lieu of a piñata, I did a poke-a-prize game. Each square was filled with candies or toys. Each kid got to take turns poking a square! Cut out evenly placed squares down the length of the box, leaving room at the top for a Title. Once all the squares are cut, cover the bottom of a Solo Cup with hot glue, place it through a cut square and press firmly to the back of the box. Hold for a few seconds. Repeat for each square until all of them have a solo cup glued directly behind each square. This next part depends on the type of box you have. I had a box with a top and bottom piece, like a shoe box. For my box, I took off the top, flipped it over, and hot glued single sheets of tissue papers behind all of the squares.

Creeper Toss

What you need:
One large square cardboard box
box cutter
Spray paint

Cut squares for the eyes, odd shaped mouth, then spray paint. To use for the game, we used very small plastic balls from my daughters play room. Just make sure to practice with kids to make sure the game is doable for them!

Other Projects

Fishing hole

Medium-large bucket. makeshift fishing pole- (yardstick, wrapped in tape to protect from slivers with a large magnet tied to the end with small rope), prizes in plastic baggies clipped together with magnetic chip clips.

Photo Booth

Backdrop ordered from party city. Photo Booth props ordered from Amazon. We set up an iPad on a table with photo timer on. Children were able to take their own photos!

Creative Food

I went through the Minecraft items and found all the food items and anything that could look like food. I made up food card labels and set them out infant of the bowls!

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

Mom hair, don’t care!

Being a woman has always had it’s physical difficulties and societal pressures. The moment a girl gets her period, it’s all downhill. Women are expected to dress nice, do their hair and makeup, shave their legs, have smooth skin, slim bodies. 

Listen buddy, There’s no chance I’m going to put in all the effort just to watch my tinder date walk in with a scratchy unkempt neck beard, sweatpants, and flip flops. 

Then again, if we’re looking for a life long companion we do need to put up a bit of a false front. We need to pretend that we have our life together so a man will agree to marry us. Then at that point we begin to slowly slip back in to our natural, lazy gross selves. Before they even realize it, the woman they married only shaves her legs once a week, throws her hair in a messy bun most days, and those heels have been replaced with fuzzy house slippers. 

This is a bit of an exaggeration with me and my husband. He knew what he was signing up for with me, not a lot of secrets here. I found it best to get the farts out straight from the get go. Sweatpants and yoga pants have always been my go-to. One thing I will admit is I did do my hair a lot in the beginning. Now it’s messy buns 6/7 days of the week. 

Being a mom has definitely changed my style a lot. When I had my first kid I definitely tried for a while to be the “hot mom” I straightened my hair a lot, put on makeup, wore non-stained wrinkle free clothes. That didn’t last long. 

When you think of trendy women’s hairstyles you think of:

————————–The Pixie Cut —————————— The Rachel

—————-Classic Bob—————-Side Swept Bangs————–Beach Waves

Well the most popular hairstyle of all time, that is never talked about-
mom hair

Mom hair differs between women, but when you get down to it, it’s all the same. It’s dirty, not brushed, quickly thrown together, most importantly- not attractive. Although there are times when moms have extra time to do their hair, although that extra time is usually still not enough for anything fantastic. 

I recorded my hairstyles over the last few weeks to demonstrate different levels of mom hair. Let’s begin. 

At any given time there is a 90% chance that my hair looks like any version of the following:

If there is a morning where I have an extra 15 minutes after I’ve already gotten away with a shower I might spice things up a bit…

Going out for the day? Going somewhere you might get your picture taken? Meeting up with friends who will probably have their hair and makeup done? Better straighten the hair for the 1st time this month… (don’t mind the snapchat filter..)

Finally… about 4 times a year, the majestic stay at home mom emerges from her frizzy, snarly, messy bun of a cocoon and curls her hair for the day. Is it family photo day, military ball day, Christmas? We may never know….

I know, I know… there are moms out there who may not have their lives together but still find the time to do their hair every day. But this are usually the moms who have jobs or social lives… two things I do not. So I will continue go wear my mom hair like a badge of honor. Do you girl. Never feel like you need to change who you are for anyone!

Posted in family, parenting

Believing Our Kids

One thing I have learned about raising young children is they are brutally honest. 

“Look! Mommy got her hair done, do you like it?” 
“No. You look like a poodle.”

“Tommy wants to know if you want to have a playdate.”
“No. I don’t like him. He smells like farts.”

As our kids get older, however, the lies start to slide in. They start small.

“Did you clean up your toys?” yes.
“Did you wash your hands?” yes.
“Did you remember to wipe? yes.

The correct answer to all these is usually no.

As our children grow up, they perfect their fibbing skills. It is up to us as parents to see through their crap. Easier said than done, right? No one knows your kids better than you; the parents should be the first ones to know when our kids our lying. Well, you’d think at least. I feel like, especially in this day and age, parents are blindly believing their children more than they should be. We all want to believe that our children are perfect angels. Maybe because we want to believe that we are great parents, raising great kids. Reality check- NO ONE IS PERFECT. Parents get frustrated, they yell, they lose their temper, they mess up. Kids are the same way; you can do everything you can to raise your kids right and they still turn into little shits. Kids are…kids. They’re too goofy, they can be mean, they’re sneaky. Sometimes kids go through phases, they act out because of home situations, they try to act cool in front of their friends. This is exactly why we need to check our kids once in a while. Don’t always believe them; challenge them, question them. I am always challenging Eli; not because he’s a bad kid or I always suspect him of lying (although, I do a lot) but because I want to remind him that he is the kid and I am the adult. I want him to know that when I ask him to do something, he does it. If I don’t check him every once in a while and he gets away with things more and more it sets a precedent that as long as he gets away with it, he can do whatever he wants. 

Recently I saw a situation involving a friend of mine that really bothered me. A child got in trouble at school and his mother went on a public rant online about the teacher (my friend). She was bashing this teacher from head to toe based solely off what her child had told her. She did not discuss the situation with the teacher or anyone at the school before posting this rant. I am in no way calling this child a liar; based off my own parental experience, I know that children have different viewpoints of situations. Young children are still learning cause-and-effect, social cues, and social interaction skills. The way a child sees or remembers a situation may be different than the way an adult sees the situation. There is never a sure-fire way to know when to believe your child. Again, this is why I believe parents should check their children. I want my children to know they can come to me with anything and that I will always listen and believe them- HOWEVER- I am still going to look into it. Innocent until proven guilty type thing.

If I was the parent in this situation I would listen to my child and believe them until I learn otherwise, but it should NOT have been put on social media before first discussing the situation with all parties directly involved. If that did happen the mother would have learned that before the altercation, her son was being disrespectful to classmates and staff. Now, before getting all the facts, the reputation of my friend has been trampled on. Thankfully she’s a confident bad-ass and won’t let this keep her from doing what she loves. 

Knowing when to believe an adult and when to believe your child is completely situational. There is no set way to go about it. If we always believe our children we are setting the precedent that they are always right and they can do no wrong. If we always believe the adult we are letting our children know that we have no faith in them and that can be dangerous in some situations. Parents need to do their due diligence and find out all the information. 

Parenting is a balancing act. You have to be the enforcer, the confidant, the protector, the supporter, and the caretaker all at the same time. It is an impossible job and there is no perfect way to parent. We all take different paths, we all make different choices. As long as our children are clothed, fed, and happy we are doing just fine as parents. 

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

Christmas Gift Check in

I feel like all parents can relate to me when I say- despite my better judgment, I love spoiling our kids. Now I am a firm believer of living within your means, although around birthdays and holidays we definitely push the limit. I’m not sure what it is about buying gifts for our children, but we can’t help ourselves. Are we buying their love? Are we just getting a bunch of stuff to keep them busy and out of our faces? Regardless of the reason, we all love getting our children a gift that they love and watching their delighted little faces light up when they unwrap it. But sometimes (maybe a lot of times) we pick out some gifts that are complete duds.

Now that Christmas is in the rearview mirror, it’s time to reflect on our pointless purchases. Those gifts you bought that you probably shouldn’t have, but you just knew your child would love. How’d that work out for us? Many of our children’s gifts this year have gone unused, forgotten about, or broken. For science, I’m taking inventory of some of the gifts our children got this year and figuring how many have gone left unused and why. The ‘why’ part to this plays a big factor, are they not using it because it’s too advanced for them or because we just picked out a crappy gift? Let’s see.

Eli’s Gift rundown- 

Rock and Roll Rainbow Piano– Thought it was cool, but not so interested in learning piano. but the babies LOVE IT so I count it as a medium. They love to walk across it and hear the music.

Build your own plane- Loved and used a lot; but it is now sadly in the broken toy graveyard.

Tinker toys– dud. My grandma has these toys at her house and he loves to use them and build things, like his “machine 2000” so she got him his own set, only to find out apparently that they’re only fun to use at GG’s house

DC super hero busy book– used twice. I thought for sure he’d love this because he loves super hero figurines. Nerp.

 magic set– complete dud. Never used. Pieces lost. Mom and Dad fail.

 The best gifts were the whoopee cushion ($2) and the liquid hourglass ($2). He uses both almost daily. Just goes to show, you don’t have to shell out a lot of money for your kids to be happy.

Camille’s gift rundown-

Fisher price laugh and learn smart stages chair– overall a good gift. She does use it often but she (as of now) only using the built in book feature. She LOVES turning pages so that part specifically is a hit

Fisher-Price Brilliant stack & Roll cups– Does it count as successful if she just smashes the cups all over the place and then holds them and walks around? We’ll say medium

Puzzles– age appropriate but she has no interest in them yet except for holding the pieces

Play house shape sorter– Camille is experiencing developmental delays and has no interest at all in stuff like this (which was why I bought it in the first place) but as of now she has no desire for this toy. dud. It is also missing some pieces, despite never being used.

Dollar Store dolly– Camille liked hers and she would walk around with them. Then cousin Olivia came over and ripped them limb from limb. So they went to dolly heaven after just one week.

So you may be wondering, if Camille isn’t using most of her toys, then what is she playing with?