Posted in family, motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized

Struggles of a stay at home mom

Being a stay at home mom is not a glamorous lifestyle, despite what you may see on Instagram. It’s not all mommy playgroups, matching mommy/child outfits, or blissful round the clock playtime.

I start my day with two cups of coffee. My hair is in a messy bun, and my robe is tied tight. By the time I drop my son off at school I have clothes on (granted, its usually stretch pants and a sweatshirt), my hair is usually not brushed, contacts not in yet, and no makeup. If you think it gets better by school pick-up, you’d probably be wrong. It’s not that I DONT have time to get ready for the day, but whats the point? The majority of my day is wiping butts, making food, cleaning, working on my computer, playing with baby toys, etc. My life is 99% inside the house. The lazy girl inside me is like “yes! I love being home and in pajamas”; but the overall human being in me gets stir crazy. My life is 24/7 kids. I yearn for adult interaction. This lifestyle is very isolating. 

Kids are loud, dirty, talkative, annoying, messy, emotional, rude. This job gets few thank-yous, little to no recognition, there is no pay, no sick days, and ridiculous hours. All that being said, it is the best job I’ve ever had. Wait, what? Honestly, yes. Despite how difficult and draining this life is, being able to watch your kids discover new things, hit new milestones, grow, and find new interests, is something not everyone gets to witness everyday. It is not taken for granted by me. I get moments that working parents don’t always get. Stay at home mothers don’t have an easy life, but neither do working parents. The grass is always greener, isn’t it?

Working parents get to have a life outside of their children and their house, they make their own hard-earned money, they get independence, they live a life for themselves. I am missing out on all of those things. I have no life; and not in the sense like I’m a loser with no friends who wants to go out and party. I mean- I have no life. My children are my life. Every choice I make, every move made, every purchase, every agenda on our daily schedule, EVERYTHING is about them. What about me? My dreams, my needs, my time? Being a stay at home parent day in-day out is making me lose myself. The flip side to this is working parents wanting more time with their families, playing with their children, enjoying their house, having time to relax. I think there are times we can be jealous of each other and our parental situations- and we shouldn’t. Again, the grass is always greener. No parenting style is above the other. No mother is above another. There are going to be pros and cons with any type of parenting.

We need to be grateful for the lives that we have. I would love having my own career, having some independence, but I am so grateful for being able to be there 100% for my kids. I love being around them all the time (despite how much they annoy me most of the time).

This upcoming Mother’s Day, take the time to appreciate BEING a mother, no matter what kind of mother you are. Whether you’re working to live out your dream, to provide financially for your children, to make the world a better place, or whether you’re staying home to raise your beautiful children— Be happy just being a mother. Being a mother, of ANY kind, is a hard f***ing job. Now go brush your teeth and get yourself and iced coffee, because damn it, we deserve it. 

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

Minecraft Mama

Most of our children’s interests change at the drop of a hat. They watch the same show on a loop, until one day, they accidentally watch something else and leech on to that show. They only want to eat Mac n Cheese shapes for weeks on end, until suddenly- “I don’t like those anymore”. They might beg us for matchbox cars then after a few plays, they’re never touched again.

Eli is a creature of habit. He likes the same foods, the same shows, the same handful of toys. Sometimes he ventures out be he almost always sticks to his few things. So when he asked me to buy Minecraft on his Ipad for $8 I thought “MMMMMMM NAH.” I just knew that if I spent that much money on a game he had never played before (but watched other kids play on youtube) that he would get bored and I’d be out $8. Boy was I wrong.

I finally caved and bought it. There was definitely some stumbling blocks while we both tried to figure out how to play the game. Since we figured it (mostly) out he is obsessed. He watched youtube tutorials on the tv while he plays the game so he can learn new tricks. The creativity he shows in this game is amazing. He is so smart and creative and makes awesome things. He even started recording himself while he plays for his own youtube channel just like the guys he loves to watch. It is amazing watching your child discover their passions, and I truly do think that’s what Minecraft is for him. It’s not just playing video games for him- he’s creating.

When his birthday started to come around it was a no brainer what we were going to do. I immediately headed to Pinterest to get some DIY ideas. Staying home with my kids gives me plenty of time to get some crap put together. I always underestimate how much harder, and usually more expensive, DIY projects can be. Nonetheless, I am very impressed with myself. Who actually pins stuff from Pinterest AND follows through with them!?!?

I documented some of my creations below and in case anyone is interested, wrote quick notes on how to make them! Enjoy!

Poke-A-Prize

What you need:
Large rectangular cardboard box
Box cutter
tissue paper
plastic cups
Hot Glue Gun
Spray Paint

In lieu of a piñata, I did a poke-a-prize game. Each square was filled with candies or toys. Each kid got to take turns poking a square! Cut out evenly placed squares down the length of the box, leaving room at the top for a Title. Once all the squares are cut, cover the bottom of a Solo Cup with hot glue, place it through a cut square and press firmly to the back of the box. Hold for a few seconds. Repeat for each square until all of them have a solo cup glued directly behind each square. This next part depends on the type of box you have. I had a box with a top and bottom piece, like a shoe box. For my box, I took off the top, flipped it over, and hot glued single sheets of tissue papers behind all of the squares.

Creeper Toss

What you need:
One large square cardboard box
box cutter
Spray paint

Cut squares for the eyes, odd shaped mouth, then spray paint. To use for the game, we used very small plastic balls from my daughters play room. Just make sure to practice with kids to make sure the game is doable for them!

Other Projects

Fishing hole

Medium-large bucket. makeshift fishing pole- (yardstick, wrapped in tape to protect from slivers with a large magnet tied to the end with small rope), prizes in plastic baggies clipped together with magnetic chip clips.

Photo Booth

Backdrop ordered from party city. Photo Booth props ordered from Amazon. We set up an iPad on a table with photo timer on. Children were able to take their own photos!

Creative Food

I went through the Minecraft items and found all the food items and anything that could look like food. I made up food card labels and set them out infant of the bowls!

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

Mom hair, don’t care!

Being a woman has always had it’s physical difficulties and societal pressures. The moment a girl gets her period, it’s all downhill. Women are expected to dress nice, do their hair and makeup, shave their legs, have smooth skin, slim bodies. 

Listen buddy, There’s no chance I’m going to put in all the effort just to watch my tinder date walk in with a scratchy unkempt neck beard, sweatpants, and flip flops. 

Then again, if we’re looking for a life long companion we do need to put up a bit of a false front. We need to pretend that we have our life together so a man will agree to marry us. Then at that point we begin to slowly slip back in to our natural, lazy gross selves. Before they even realize it, the woman they married only shaves her legs once a week, throws her hair in a messy bun most days, and those heels have been replaced with fuzzy house slippers. 

This is a bit of an exaggeration with me and my husband. He knew what he was signing up for with me, not a lot of secrets here. I found it best to get the farts out straight from the get go. Sweatpants and yoga pants have always been my go-to. One thing I will admit is I did do my hair a lot in the beginning. Now it’s messy buns 6/7 days of the week. 

Being a mom has definitely changed my style a lot. When I had my first kid I definitely tried for a while to be the “hot mom” I straightened my hair a lot, put on makeup, wore non-stained wrinkle free clothes. That didn’t last long. 

When you think of trendy women’s hairstyles you think of:

————————–The Pixie Cut —————————— The Rachel

—————-Classic Bob—————-Side Swept Bangs————–Beach Waves

Well the most popular hairstyle of all time, that is never talked about-
mom hair

Mom hair differs between women, but when you get down to it, it’s all the same. It’s dirty, not brushed, quickly thrown together, most importantly- not attractive. Although there are times when moms have extra time to do their hair, although that extra time is usually still not enough for anything fantastic. 

I recorded my hairstyles over the last few weeks to demonstrate different levels of mom hair. Let’s begin. 

At any given time there is a 90% chance that my hair looks like any version of the following:

If there is a morning where I have an extra 15 minutes after I’ve already gotten away with a shower I might spice things up a bit…

Going out for the day? Going somewhere you might get your picture taken? Meeting up with friends who will probably have their hair and makeup done? Better straighten the hair for the 1st time this month… (don’t mind the snapchat filter..)

Finally… about 4 times a year, the majestic stay at home mom emerges from her frizzy, snarly, messy bun of a cocoon and curls her hair for the day. Is it family photo day, military ball day, Christmas? We may never know….

I know, I know… there are moms out there who may not have their lives together but still find the time to do their hair every day. But this are usually the moms who have jobs or social lives… two things I do not. So I will continue go wear my mom hair like a badge of honor. Do you girl. Never feel like you need to change who you are for anyone!

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

Christmas Gift Check in

I feel like all parents can relate to me when I say- despite my better judgment, I love spoiling our kids. Now I am a firm believer of living within your means, although around birthdays and holidays we definitely push the limit. I’m not sure what it is about buying gifts for our children, but we can’t help ourselves. Are we buying their love? Are we just getting a bunch of stuff to keep them busy and out of our faces? Regardless of the reason, we all love getting our children a gift that they love and watching their delighted little faces light up when they unwrap it. But sometimes (maybe a lot of times) we pick out some gifts that are complete duds.

Now that Christmas is in the rearview mirror, it’s time to reflect on our pointless purchases. Those gifts you bought that you probably shouldn’t have, but you just knew your child would love. How’d that work out for us? Many of our children’s gifts this year have gone unused, forgotten about, or broken. For science, I’m taking inventory of some of the gifts our children got this year and figuring how many have gone left unused and why. The ‘why’ part to this plays a big factor, are they not using it because it’s too advanced for them or because we just picked out a crappy gift? Let’s see.

Eli’s Gift rundown- 

Rock and Roll Rainbow Piano– Thought it was cool, but not so interested in learning piano. but the babies LOVE IT so I count it as a medium. They love to walk across it and hear the music.

Build your own plane- Loved and used a lot; but it is now sadly in the broken toy graveyard.

Tinker toys– dud. My grandma has these toys at her house and he loves to use them and build things, like his “machine 2000” so she got him his own set, only to find out apparently that they’re only fun to use at GG’s house

DC super hero busy book– used twice. I thought for sure he’d love this because he loves super hero figurines. Nerp.

 magic set– complete dud. Never used. Pieces lost. Mom and Dad fail.

 The best gifts were the whoopee cushion ($2) and the liquid hourglass ($2). He uses both almost daily. Just goes to show, you don’t have to shell out a lot of money for your kids to be happy.

Camille’s gift rundown-

Fisher price laugh and learn smart stages chair– overall a good gift. She does use it often but she (as of now) only using the built in book feature. She LOVES turning pages so that part specifically is a hit

Fisher-Price Brilliant stack & Roll cups– Does it count as successful if she just smashes the cups all over the place and then holds them and walks around? We’ll say medium

Puzzles– age appropriate but she has no interest in them yet except for holding the pieces

Play house shape sorter– Camille is experiencing developmental delays and has no interest at all in stuff like this (which was why I bought it in the first place) but as of now she has no desire for this toy. dud. It is also missing some pieces, despite never being used.

Dollar Store dolly– Camille liked hers and she would walk around with them. Then cousin Olivia came over and ripped them limb from limb. So they went to dolly heaven after just one week.

So you may be wondering, if Camille isn’t using most of her toys, then what is she playing with?

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

Changes

Per usual, our life is a constant realm of change. It has been a while since I have worked my blog. There was just a lot going on between Eli starting kindergarten, having a new baby in the house, my husband working 12+ hours a day and the laundry and cleaning that never seem to end. I think I really just wanted a break to enjoy my downtime.

We have once again moved across the country. This time we moved in anticipation of my husband getting orders in Michigan. Which, if any military people are reading this, is kind of a jinx. We had got word that the odds were good of getting assigned to Michigan but because the kids and I came out here early to save up some money beforehand, I’m sure we ruined it. At least us being here allows me to be here for a birth (not mine) and two weddings!!

Now that I am back here and life has slowed down a little (and the fact that the baby in the house is becoming more self sufficient), I decided it was time to fire up the old blog; but give it a face lift. Before, my blog was focused mostly on my son’s autism, but the more we are learning and growing the more I want to focus on our life in general rather than our difficulties. When I look at our family, I don’t see us as a family that revolves around a diagnosis. I see us as a regular, relatable family. So this new upgraded blog is just going to be about my crazy life with my crazy kids.

My goal with blogging isn’t to really to inspire people (I don’t see myself as inspirational), but more so just to relate to people. I love to find humor in chaos. So cheers to 2019 and all our messed up crazy lives!!

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

His Friendships Make Me Nervous

Eli has come so far in his social skills. His vocabulary is amazing and he is so smart. He’s more comfortable interacting with others at school and in our neighborhood. Although he’s had such amazing growth I am still very nervous about him making friends. Mainly because kids can be assholes.

Eli is still so very sensitive. The littlest things make him upset. Currently, our biggest issues with him is his crying. At school when he’s told to change tasks he often times gets upset and cries. If the toy he wanted to play with isn’t there, he cries. If I’m not standing on the sidewalk when he gets through the gate, he cries.

At home, if he’s not granted the snack he wants, he cries. If he’s told he has to turn off his iPad and go to bed, he cries. When we can’t go out and do the things he wants to do, he cries.

Most significantly, he cries a lot during interactions with his friends. Whenever there is the smallest disturbance with his friends, he usually ends up crying and running inside. No kidding, as I type this the boys were outside playing tag and Eli just came in crying because he was it (which he’s usually it) and he couldn’t tag the other boys and was getting frustrated so he started crying. Lately when he’s upset he tells his friend he doesn’t love him anymore, and they look at him a little funny. I’ve explained that love is for family and like is for friends. I get very nervous for him because he’s 5 now and kids that age start to judge.

One thing I would LOVE to fix Is the interactions with friends that make him upset. Sometimes Eli is justified for being upset with his friends. Often times when they play tag he is always it, he will finally tag someone and they immediately tag him back. The other kids are a little older and a lot more fast than him, it’s almost an impossible game. Sometimes, though, Eli’s fits are unjustified. One time some of the kids were getting ready to play four square. Eli didn’t want to play and continued playing with his cars. His friend told him to move over so he didn’t get hit- Eli took that as go away we don’t want you here.

So how exactly do you get your child to stop crying for non-crying situations? You can’t just tell someone to stop crying. He feels these emotions and runs with them. I love the fact that he’s so passionate; he generally enjoys life. The problem is that even though his highs are high, his lows get extremely low. The only good thing about his behavior is the blow outs never last long. When he’s upset about a situation he is usually over it within a couple minutes. For the time being, his friends seem to forget about it almost instantly, too. As soon as he’s calmed down and wants to go back outside, they welcome him.

Another issue my husband and I are noticing is that Eli isn’t standing up for himself. He is new to socialization so he just kind of rolls with whatever the other kids too. When his friend comes over here he runs the show. They do whatever he wants to do. Which is usually play with Elis Ipad or Wii. Which are both one player so Eli either watches or plays something else. All we can do for that is regulate or tell them to do something together.

Really I think my nerves are normal and to be expected. Any parent probably feels like this sometimes (right?). All I can do is guide him, give him advice, and let him learn on his own. Friendships can be hard, especially new ones. But there’s not a doubt in my mind that Eli will find some great friends that are a perfect match for him and he will be just fine.

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

More Time to Fill

Ya’ll would not believe….

Monday morning I was all excited because Eli was going back to school. I got him dressed in a snazzy outfit, packed his lunch, got his backpack ready. We got in the car and headed to school. As I grew closer to the parking lot, I notice there’s not a lot of cars around as there usually is. Pull up to the gate and it’s closed and locked; not a car in the parking lot.

….SPRING BREAK IS TWO WEEKS LONG!!!!!!

Who the hell has two week long spring breaks? This is asinine. What am I supposed to do for another entire week? Well, it’s Friday so let me tell you what we did… NOTHING….AGAIN. Well, ok, we did a little bit.

Last Friday my husband was off work so we took both kids to the park where Eli and his dad took a row boat out onto the water. Eli loved it, except when they got attacked by a rogue goose. After that, Eli and I went to our housing’s Easter event. Painted mini canvases and ate a little food.

Then there was Easter. I was in bed with Camille watching cartoons waiting for Eli to get up. I finally get up to go check on him. I find him downstairs, already found and opened all the eggs and got his basket….

Eli is also a couple weeks into soccer season. We have a one hour practice twice a week and a game on Saturdays. That’s probably the most exciting thing going on in our lives.

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The rest of our days were spent watching tv, making car tracks, and having Eli outside as much as possible. He’s really gotten close to a couple kids in the neighborhood so I ship him out as much as possible. Although that usually ends with both boys in my house playing video games.

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Sure, there are tons of things we could go out and do; but packing a diaper bag for a 30 minute trip to the park is exhausting. A 15 minute trip to the grocery store the other day  was enough for me after Camille hit her head on the car-themed shopping cart as soon as we got in the door. She fussed and cried the entire time we were there.

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I’ve come to terms that nothing exciting will happen this spring break. Trying to do big outings is just too much work, especially when, during the week, its two against one. I think during spring break, I’d rather just break.

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