Tag: mom blog

Posted in autism, parenting

My Fear of Raising Black Autistic Kids Today

Posted on by Mom Boss

Whenever you see the clip on the news of the latest unarmed black person being killed at the hands of a rogue police officer, do you ever find yourself thinking- “My God… what if that was my child?” Because I have… I have thought about this more times than I care to count. This is something that scares the bejeezus out of me because, I not only have two black children, I have 2 Autistic black children. 

“According to the advocacy group Autism Unites, people with autism spectrum disorders are seven times more likely to interact with police over their lifetimes, compared with people without a cognitive disorder.”

So when I imagine if this were to ever happen to my son, I imagine it would go something like this:

My beautiful brown-skinned curly haired sweet boy, maybe 9-10 years down the road (so 16-17yo) walking home one evening from a friend’s house or maybe home from a shift at his first job, when someone calls the police about a “suspicious black male” in their white neighborhood. A police officer arrives,     (I’m going to pause here and say- this is not going to be a jab at police officers for racism. This is merely to point out a lack of knowledge and training in mental health [specifically autism] for first responders and a need for procedure reforms)     and because they are unaware that this tall-for-his-age boy, not only lives in this neighborhood, is also autistic- they do the full bit of turning their lights on, shining a flashlight on my son, and approaching him- all of which will overload his senses, making him confused and overwhelmed. They speak in a loud and firm voice- which he takes to be mean and aggressive (his nature) which makes him paralyzingly scared. They try talking to him, but because he is often uncomfortable in social situations with people he doesn’t know, he doesn’t respond. Which makes the police officer suspicious and agitated. Eli would most likely not look this officer in their eyes and would probably be fidgeting subconsciously with his hands and fingers like he normally does when he is nervous, unable to stand completely still.
  Being distracted and overwhelmed by the lights, a loud affirming stranger barking orders at him, unable to fully communicate or probably comply with some of his orders… How do we think this situation would end? Say we get to the point where an officer tries to put handcuffs on my son and he has an emotional breakdown and isn’t able to process all the different emotions he’s feeling (which currently happens to him almost daily) and begins to “resist” the officer. This is where my son could lose his life. All because a first responder couldn’t read the signs. 

So what are the signs?

A person with autism might:

-Have impaired sense of danger
-Be overwhelmed by police presence
-Fear a person in uniform, or become overly curious and reach for objects (badge, handcuffs) 
-React with fight or flight responses
-Not respond to “stop” or other verbal commands
-Have delayed speech and language skills
-Engage in repetitive behavior (stimming, rocking, hand flapping, spinning)
-Have sensory perception issues

According to Autism Speaks: how should a police officer approach a person with autism?

-Be patient, give them space
-Use simple, concrete sentences
-Be alert to signs of increased frustrations and try to eliminate source
-Avoid quick movements and loud noises
-Do not touch them unless necessary

Yeah that’s cool, but… what if a police officer doesn’t know someone is autistic?

So if a police officer has NO IDEA that the person they are about to approach has Autism and starts exuding any of this behavior…then what? Very few Police Departments in the United States have any mandatory formal special needs training for their officers. Which means the majority of officers would not recognize ANY of this behavior and associate it with Autism Spectrum Disorder. My guess is that it would be assumed to be drug induced behavior. Like in the story of 14 year old Connor in Arizona:

-Connor was approached by a police officer in a park. 
When a family friend returned to the boy after being 
gone for only a matter of minutes, the police officer 
had the 14 year old boy pinned to the ground because 
he thought the boy was on drugs, when the family friend 
ran up and told the officer he had Autism and was 
“stimming” the officer got up and released him. The 
officer left the boy bruised and bleeding, the boy also 
needed surgery on his ankle 6 months later directly due 
to the incident. The officer received no discipline.

Now pause for a second and think- what if an officer stops my son and DOES have personal prejudices against POC (people of color). How likely are they to follow any of the suggested guidelines on how to approach people with mental disabilities/Autism? If someone out there has prejudices against black males- are they going to assume that this teenage black boy that won’t look him in the eyes, won’t respond to his questions, and won’t stand still and stop fidgeting is on the Autism spectrum or is he more than likely going to assume he’s on drugs or simply being disobedient? What would you think? No… no, Not the answer you would say out loud in front of people- what would be the first private thought to come into your head if you saw a black male with that behavior? Because I’d like to survey the country, personally, and see how many people answer “crack head”…

Of course these are all hypotheticals here, as my son is currently only 7 years old; but am I making any of you go:

This may just be hypothetical for me and my children’s future… but it is a reality out there for many mothers like myself who DO have teen-adult black autistic individuals in their family. 

Like in the story of 18 year old Ricardo Hayes.
>>>> Read here <<<<

So…..what am I getting at?

What I’m talking about isn’t necessarily a dig at the cops themselves. I don’t want anyone thinking I am anti-cop here… My grandpa was a state police officer. I’ve had multiple family members, including my husband currently, in the military. I am NOT anti-police, anti-military, anti-government, anti-whatever else (well, I think most of us out there can agree to being anti-BAD COP… I hope anyway). However… the point I am trying to make here is: there is a huge need for multiple types of reform in our country. We could honestly all benefit from everyone taking a step back and reevaluating every inch of our country’s foundation. I could go all day, but for this blog specifically… I think our country’ public safety system needs a complete overhaul. 

I feel very strongly that police officers need more education and training. Again, this is not a dig at the actual officers- this is above them. We need to be providing them with more knowledge, education, and support BEFORE they start.

Hear me out… not every state requires you to get a college degree before becoming a police officer. In most states you can become a police officer with no other education beyond a high school diploma/GED and completing the academy. State police academy’s seem to vary in length between 14 weeks to 6 months long. That’s it.

So you could have any racist Joe Blow off the street with a GED, go and complete a 3-month academy, pass a drug test, and then send him out on the streets with a loaded weapon to happen upon my little dark-skinned autistic boy who is afraid of strangers and doesn’t respond appropriately, by nature, in social interactions? No thank you…

So why is there not more schooling required to become an officer? Why are there no mental health evaluations done on potential officers to make sure they are fit for the job? Why do all departments not have mandatory mental health trainings for officers like New Jersey or Florida? Although- I’d like to point out that Florida only enacted that mandatory rule after police officers shot an autistic man’s behavioral therapist because they thought the autistic man WHO WAS SITTING & PLAYING WITH A TOY TRUCK… had a gun. See video below:

Unless you live under a rock, I’m sure you’ve heard the recent cries from people to “Defund the Police.” When I first heard that I thought (like I’m sure plenty of you out there did too)- Well that’s just dumb, that doesn’t make any sense. It will look like the Purge movies here…. Until I started reading and listening (which more people really need to start doing by the way, but I digress…)

From my understanding-     [so, if I’m interpreting anything wrong here, please feel free to comment on the post and correct me!]      -people aren’t just saying- take away the police and be done with it. They are saying, take away some of the police funding
(think larger cities here, not your Podunk barely-staying-afloat towns filled with people of the same race [*cough* white…] and generally same economic statuses)
and invest that money into the low income neighborhoods. By investing more money into the neighborhoods, the schools, the hospitals, etc you are, in one sense, improving the safety of the entire community without buying the police newest-model cars or bigger guns.

            Another idea I’ve heard from “defund the police” is to dismantle the police department… *as we know it currently*   See video below:

Essentially, We would still have police officers, but they would not be called for every instance. Our public safety departments would be separated into specially trained and educated groups, specifically trained to handle specific situations. Of course this may just be a dreamer’s idea, I have not had time to do the full research on this aspect yet (but you bet your ass that I will be!)

            If you’ve gotten this far in the post, thank you. Whether you agree with anything I’m saying or not… thank you for at least taking the time to hear out someone else’s opinions and someone else’s feelings and fears. This blog wasn’t made in haste in the heat of the moment. I have been researching for this blog for some time now. I have checked facts, I’ve checked DOJ websites and documents. I’ve even attached all of the websites below that I used for this blog. This blog was not written purely from emotions… this blog was written from INFORMATION. 

            All I’m going to leave you with is: no matter what your feelings are towards Black Lives Matter, police brutality, systemic racism, or even your political views (which, racial issues are NOT political… but I find that people make it political?? idk..) just be sure to do your due diligence first. Listen to what people are saying and research the topics from trusted, impartial and unbiased publications. Just because you haven’t witnessed or experienced injustices due to the color of your skin doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen daily and doesn’t mean “this isn’t a color issue” Lastly, Remember- some of you may feel that the current issues in the world don’t affect you… but if you have a family member, friend, or even simply a community member that is a POC – this most certainly DOES affect you. Even if you have none of those…you still have fellow American citizens who need our help. This affects us all. 

Posted in family, momlife, parenting

Finishing up Quarantine Homeschool

Posted on by Mom Boss

This has been a crazy time for all of us hasn’t it? A lot of us have been working from home, kids have been sent home from school, businesses have been shut down, events canceled, no sports… 

I can honestly say that I have had it way easier than most of you, being that I was already a stay at home mom, not much really changed for me. Except, of course, that I had both children in my face…all day….everyday…no breaks. I try not to complain too much about it though, because again, I know all this Coronavirus Craziness is a million times harder for working parents who now have to find childcare for their children AND still find the time to help their kids with their homework after they get home from work… and God forbid spend any quality time with their kids after that or… *gasp* alone time by themselves. God bless you working parents; because you all really are some of the MVP’s of  coronavirus. 

However, us stay-at-home moms wouldn’t mind having a drink, or 6, with you sometime too… cuz’ man, are we sick of our kids… Well, I suppose I should only speak for myself. But I have a feeling, a lot of you are right there with me. Listen, I love these little monsters more than life itself… but all I want, seriously, is to be able to take a dump without someone yelling “mommy” or barging in and showing me something on an ipad or playing barbies at my feet. I mean… get away from me, ya know? …Too harsh? 

Anyway, what was this blog about? OH… finishing up homeschooling. That’s right…

So depending on your district, you may still have a few weeks left, our district wraps up at the end of next week so it’s crunch time here in the McDaniel house.

This entire homeschool thing has been a struggle for both me and Eli. I’m not a teacher. I don’t have the temperament or patience for this kind of stuff. The young kids are hard to get focused because since school was let out, most of them have switched to Summer mode. I totally get it. You’re not on your regular schedule, you’re not in a school building, not with your peers or teachers… I GET IT. But listen pal, I graduated the first grade about 26 years ago- I’m not doing this for me… I’m not just doing this for fun. So we’ve pushed on- through the tantrums, whining, complaining, the sloppy work, distractions- and here we are, the last two weeks.

So what can we do to really knock out these last couple weeks of school? Let’s see….

  1. Write out a delicious color coded homework chart for the week
    • Start with what time to start each day (earlier in the day, before they get too involved with Piggy from Roblox)
    • Include what assignments you want to finish that day and any videos or practices you want to go through that day as well
    • Add time for finishing late work. Let’s be honest.. no one’s perfect, we may not finish something in the time we allotted so if you have a day that may be a little shorter than others, use that day to finish up some homework that’s still incomplete.
  1. Next thing you’re going to do is take your schedule, crumple it, and completely disregard it because… Girl, you aren’t going to follow it anyway…
    • It’s the end of the semester, we’ve been homeschooling for 2+ months now…we know our kids don’t give a damn about our schedules. We are hanging on by a thread. A color coded schedule isn’t going to save you; but it does give you something to do when you’re bored having your morning coffee….

DO NOT OVERTHINK THIS

  • You are a parent, not a teacher (Well, some parents are teachers- y’all handle your own business though..lol.) We are not meant to operate like a school, no matter how much we try, our young elementary kids are not going to take us or the school work seriously- we are just not that specific authority figure.
  • Homeschooling is completely possible, but it takes time and consistency. Because this has only been for a few months… it’s basically just been a crap storm. If you were to do homeschooling for your kids full time, permanently, you would eventually fall into a rhythm and it could work out. 
  • Do not think you’re a bad parent because you’re struggling with this. MOST OF US ARE.
    • Your kid will be fine if you didn’t submit every single assignment
    • Don’t worry if you’re not submitting their work in on time- just try your best to get it done by the end of the semester
    • Your teachers are NOT judging you. They are having just as hard of a time with all of this as we are. They get it. 
    • Keep pushing because we’re almost done
    • The fact that you’re trying at all, is a testament to your ability and dedication to parenting.

None of us are sure what the future holds for fall semester with school, hopefully some answers come soon. One thing I do know… if I need to homeschool all Fall semester I may start putting away money now for my own personal Teachers Assistant.

Keep on pushing moms and dads because Summer is almost here! Then we can make our children be outside all day and hopefully we can all get a little bit more peace!

Posted in weight loss

A Mom’s Transformation

Posted on by Mom Boss

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

Since my last blog post was a transformation update on my kids and their development, I figured this week I should update everyone on my own transformation progress!

As I’ve mentioned in a past blog, with the help of my doctor, I’ve been working on a serious weight loss journey. 

When I started my antidepressants after my daughter was born in 2017, around 2 ½ years ago, my energy started decreasing and my weight started increasing. Last summer I was the heaviest I have ever been at 194lbs. Since January I have lost around 30 pounds.

I have been taking Phentermine for several months now to help boost my energy levels and decrease my appetite. So what am I doing aside from just taking a “magic pill”? Let’s do a quick run through… 

Foods

I have stopped drinking pop (soda to my readers reading from outside the Midwest,) I eat very little carbs, sodium, and sugar, I also try to avoid processed and prepackaged foods. No pasta, or potatoes. A few days a week I skip lunch and opt for meal replacement protein shake. Of course I also have my cheat days (like today…way too many carbs for Mother’s Day…)

Blackened chicken with pan fried veggies, Thai chopped salad, protein shake, loaded cauliflower soup, sugar free Powerade.

Workouts

I work out about 30 minutes a day, usually about 6 days a week. My workouts are low impact cardio routines. I follow workout pages on Youtube that I play from my laptop right in the middle of my kitchen. Since gaining the weight, I have a lot of lower back stiffness and frequently reoccurring bursitis in my right knee, so there are a lot of workouts that are still hard for me to do like lunges, running, too much up-and-down routines in a single session. I am hoping that with some more weight loss I can lessen the physical limitations and really push myself to my full potential soon!

one of my workouts I recorded in my sister’s backyard in the end of April

Yoga

I’ve also discussed before that I have started doing yoga most nights. I actually started this to increase my mobility and flexibility. It has helped my lower back issues a little. At the end of my yoga sessions, my lower back feels much better, but the next morning it’s back to being stiff with low mobility. One thing that I have noticed since starting yoga, is I have a lot more awareness in my body, how it works, and how I can control it. I do my yoga at night after I’ve put the kids to bed. This allows me to do it in peace and quiet so I can really focus and relax. I find that doing it before bed does usually help me sleep better since I’m stretching my muscles and relaxing myself. 

Tree pose (Left) Baby Dancer pose (Right)

Despite making all these changes and improvements over the past few months I am a little discouraged that I’ve only lost 30lbs. I know that probably sounds crazy to most of you… 30lbs is a LOT of weight and I am very proud of myself for the weight I’ve lost so far and the lifestyle changes I’ve adapted; but I feel that given the extreme changes I’ve made I should have seen more of a loss. Then again… that is probably just the depression and self-doubt that I still do constantly battle within myself. 

I do think that the antidepressants that I have been on are playing a major factor in my weight. I started gaining most of my weight after I started them and I think it could be part of the reason I’m not flourishing with my weight loss right now. The next step with my doctor is to work on finding the right antidepressant for me. My end goal is to be at a place where I can get off antidepressants completely; but if I am being completely honest here, I don’t think I am ready for that yet. I can see yoga and meditation being a good help for me when I do start to wean off of them, and that is something I never thought I would say. I never would have pictured myself being a yoga/meditation person.

I have never been an active person. I’ve never worked out for fun, I’ve never been super motivated or committed to something for so long. I cannot express how proud of myself I am and how grateful I am for the support I’ve been receiving from friends and family. 

If you’re interested in following my weight loss transformation, follow my Instagram account @transparent.transformation 

Posted in autism, motherhood, parenting

Child Progress Reports

Posted on by Mom Boss

Eli, Age 7

After age 1, Eli started showing signs of regression in the little speech that he had. He didn’t respond to his name (wouldn’t turn and look at you when you said his name). He preferred to play by himself and often didn’t like when people invaded his personal space. He enjoyed lining up any objects he could. 

He started receiving speech services around 18mo. He was diagnosed with Autism at age 2. We moved to San Diego where he started receiving weekly speech and occupational therapy sessions, intensive Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy 20hr/week, and eventually started attending a special education preschool 3hr/day. Eli consistently used around 20 signs to express his wants and needs but had a lot of difficulty understanding and handling his own emotions. 

Eli finally started to talk at age 3 ½ and his language exploded. He went from baby babble to over 100 words within months. He was fully potty trained just after age 4. Since he was nonverbal for so long, potty training was quite difficult. After putting him in preschool settings, he became much more comfortable interacting with others and started to prefer playing with others versus his initial solo play. 

At age 5, Eli was in general education kindergarten with and IEP for speech and occupational therapies during school hours. He has an unbelievable vocabulary, can read and write at grade level, has a lot of friends, enjoys social interactions, and is just overall- flourishing. 

He still, of course, has areas that he needs to work on. 
-His speech still needs a lot of improvement
-He often writes certain numbers and letters backwards
-He has a hard time understanding and controlling his emotions. This often leads to
uncomfortable interactions with his peers. It’s my personal opinion that he is
emotionally younger than his peers.
-Eli becomes easily and extremely frustrated and upset at very minor
inconveniences (more so than other kids his age)

I put together a quick little transformation video of Eli’s progress from age 2 to age 7.

Camille, Age 2 ½ 

As soon as Camille came around I knew what signs to be on the lookout for. I made sure keep an eye on her milestones and make note of any delays. By age one, Camille had no words, some baby babble (but not much), was not playing age appropriately with toys and did not enjoy playing with others. I referred her to the Early On program when we moved home while my husband prepared for his third deployment. Her Early On evaluation found her with a high risk for Autism Spectrum and we started speech therapy services.

Her official autism diagnosis has been quite a long, drawn out process. It took 6 months to even get the evaluation, when we arrived, we found out that we were not completing the entire thing and had to be put on another 6 month waitlist to be seen by the behavioral therapist to complete her evaluation. Without her medical diagnosis, we are unable to start ABA therapy and other private therapies (insurance funded speech and occupational therapies). Before the recent Stay-at-Home order was put into place Camille had JUST started attending a special education preschool. She got a solid 4 days in before she was sent right back home. Although I’m sure she wasn’t too upset about it. haha

Camille is still very young and doesn’t have as much of a timespan of progress as her brother, but she has shown amazing improvement just in the past few months!

What she was doing:
-Did not play with toys appropriately. Would just hold them, sometimes knock them
together. Did not attempt to stack blocks, use shape sorters.
-No imaginative play. Wouldn’t make dolls or toys “talk”, wouldn’t pretend to drink
or eat play food, etc
-No social interaction with anyone except for mom. She would ignore other people
in the room, *sometimes* just sit back and watch others, mostly just did her
own thing
-Only showed interest in about 5 shows/movies
-No words at all. Until Age two Camille was almost silent. She barely even babbled.
After age two her babbling took off but was still just incoherent baby talk.

What she is doing now
-Camille started paying more attention to the movies and shows she was watching.
She began repeating lines from the show (her own baby babble version that
sounded remarkably close to the real word). Then she started singing some of
the songs from her Disney movies.
-She started to engage more in social play (with mom and brother) and eventually
enjoyed some action and reaction type play (ready, set, go- then race the cars)
-She started saying a handful of words, at first very sporadically and not on
command, now much more frequently
*Hi, Bye, Thank you, Mommy, yes, no, bubble, baby, hello, its me, outside
pretty, what, yeah
-Her play time has become much more age appropriate.
*Using more toys correctly (vs just holding them, knocking them together)
*Making dolls and Barbies “talk” to eachother
*Imaginative play (answering a phone, drinking and eating pretend food)
*Starting to color with crayons

Camille is a little too young for a transformation video. Since her progress is still happening… I was having a hard time putting something together to show you all. I still wanted to include her in this blog because I want to keep everyone updated on how great she is doing! So instead of a transformation video, enjoy these random videos of Camille…just being Camille!

Posted in autism, parenting, Uncategorized

…I think my child might have autism.

Posted on by Mom Boss

Are you noticing signs of delays in your child? Is your child nonverbal or behind on their developmental milestones? Are you wondering if maybe your child has Autism? Let’s go over some warning signs of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and the steps you should take!

*A disclaimer before viewing the warning signs… it is important to remember that autism is a SPECTRUM disorder… no two children on the spectrum are exactly the same. There is no definitive checklist for autism. The warning signs that I am about to give you are merely *common* signs.

Common early warning signs of Autism: 

Physical signs-

  • No speech or delayed speech
  • Repetitive speech or babble
  • Does not point to objects
  • Does not respond to his/her name
  • Avoids eye contact
  • Repetitive physical motions (hand/arm flapping, body rocking, spinning n circles)
  • Over/under sensitivity to sounds, lights, smells, tastes, and touches
  • Little to no social skills
  • Avoids or resists physical contact
  • Lack of safety/danger awareness
  • Lines up toys or objects
  • Plays with toys the same way every time
  • Prefers/focuses only on certain parts of objects (ex. Wheels)
  • Hyperactivity
  • Unusual eating and sleeping habits
  • Causes self-injury
  • Hyperactivity

Emotional/Mental signs

  • Lack of interest in objects or thing
  • Little to no imaginative play
  • Prefers to be alone
  • Difficulty understanding emotions (their own emotions and the emotions of others)
  • Easily upset by minor changes
  • Has obsessive interests
  • Unusual interests and behaviors
  • Extreme anxiety or phobias
  • Impulsive
  • Aggression
  • Meltdowns

*To reiterate, if your child has some attributes that are on this list, it does NOT mean they are definitely on the spectrum. On the flip side, your child may have little to no attributes on this list but could still have other indicators that may lead to an autism diagnosis. This list is merely a jumping off point from commonly seen signs. 

So if you still have concerns about your child, maybe they have a few of these common signs… what’s next? What are the first steps to getting answers? To getting your child help?

Here is my step-by-step list to starting the ASD process. 

1. Schedule an appointment with your child’s pediatrician to discuss concerns.

A. Generally a referral to a developmental pediatrician is needed for an autism diagnosis. Be aware that getting in to see a specialty pediatrician can often take a long time (upwards of six months). 

B. I suggest that while you wait for a medical evaluation to be conducted, you jump to parts 2 or 3 (depending on the age of your child) then return to 1c when you hear back from the office performing the evaluation.

C. The evaluation process can vary based on the office you’re using. (My son was only seen by the developmental pediatrician for about 1-2 hours, my daughter was seen by a developmental pediatrician, speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist, totaling 4 hours)

D. If the evaluation finds your child on the Autism Spectrum (or with another type of developmental delay) it can open a window for many fully or partially covered services under your insurance. 
-Speech therapy
-Occupational therapy
-Physical Therapy
-Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy

E. Get a referral from your doctor for the therapy services. You can do these therapies in addition to any Early Intervention or school services your child may start receiving.

2. If your child is between the ages of 0-3:

*Disclaimer: my knowledge of Early Intervention programs is largely based on Michigan’s program. It’s been difficult to find comparative data among all state programs, so take some of these details with a grain of salt and be sure to look up the steps for your specific State‘s Early Intervention Program!

A. Look up your State’s Early Intervention Program. All States and US territories offer early intervention programs, but each State’s program may vary from others. However, ALL Early Intervention Programs in the U.S. are completely free.

B. You can self-refer your child for an evaluation online

C. Someone from the program will reach out to you, send you profile questionnaires for you to fill out about your child, and get your consent for their program to perform an in-home evaluation.

D. Generally the program has a set amount of time from the moment you refer your child until the entire evaluation is completed. (Because every state is different, I’m hesitant to say that this is the case for every State’s programs. Michigan has 45 days from the time of referral to complete the evaluation.)

E. If the evaluation finds a need for services (speech, occupational, physical therapy, etc) State-funded, in-home services can begin. 

F. Services can run year round and your team will update your child’s plan yearly.

If your child is 3 years old or older:

A. Reach out to your School District’s special education department and discuss getting an evaluation for an Individualized Education Program (IEP)

B. Your child can get evaluated by a multi-disciplinary team. This team is made up of licensed professionals employed by the school based on your child’s specific needs (medical, physical limitations, learning delays, etc)

C. If the evaluation finds a need for special education services, the team can put together your child’s limitations, needs and goals into an IEP and school based services can begin. 

D. Beginning School services
-If your child is school-aged already at this time, They will receive services during the school day. The most desirable option is to have the child in general education classes and have them pulled out for short therapy sessions.
-If your child is not school aged yet, but has aged out of early intervention programs (so between ages 3-5) your child can still receive services through the school system, either in the form of a preschool, special education preschool, or a drop in therapy program, depending on what your school offers.

Educate Yourself

A. Do your research
-Look up the above things I just discussed (the closest developmental ped in your area, your state’s early intervention program, and your school districts website)
– Get in touch with your insurance company and find out your coverage information. Do they offer supplemental coverage for autism? What therapy services are covered? Make sure you’re aware of your copays and deductibles.
– Find credible online sources to learn a little bit more about Autism Spectrum Disorder. You can get good sources from your pediatrician, health department, and school district!

B. Find online resources
-I swear just go to Pinterest and type in Autism Activities and you will get a million and more ideas for sensory play, fine and gross motor activities, etc.
-Find parent support groups. It’s just just whining and bitching (I mean.. sometimes it is…) but they are also a great place to share ideas and resources!

Relax.

A. The hardest parts are over. Honestly, trying to navigate where to start and who to reach out to was probably the most overwhelming part for me my first time around.

Honestly, this blog took me forever to write. Not ONLY because I’m quarantined inside my very small house with my two very stir-crazy, needy children who will not let me sit at my computer in peace for more than 5 minutes at a time….. but because I didn’t want to spread false information. Although all of these services are available in every single state, I can’t say for certain that every detail of these programs will be exactly the same. I really tried to do my due diligence here. Perhaps if my children would let me get some more research time in I could actually pull criteria for every single state, but I have a feeling until I can get these kids back in school that’s just not in the cards. So if you’ve stayed with me this far, let me just say once more, PLEASE be sure to look up the programs and services for your specific state!

Happy Autism Awareness Month
Stay Safe and Healthy!

Early Intervention By State List

Multi-Disciplinary Team / IEP : More Information

Common Autism Warning Signs

Posted in family, momlife, parenting

A Parents Quarantine Guide

Posted on by Mom Boss

Hi friends!

How are we all doing during Quarantine? 
Going insane? Kids eat all the snacks already? How many times have you watched Frozen II on Disney+ ? Running out of things to do with your kids? 

If you’re like me and answered yes to all of the above, let’s work it out together. 

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Dump screen time rules!

Honestly… when the kids are inside the house 24/7 for an undetermined amount of time, it’s unrealistic to slap a weak time limit on something that occupies our kids so well. Sure, we can put together a whole list of daily activities, but we all know that no matter how much you plan for your kids during the day, there’s always going to be a ton of boring downtime. So screw it. When we’ve exhausted all our other ideas… just let them go and enjoy your alone time. Look at it positively…. If your child gets down a Minecraft tutorial Youtube rabbit hole, you have time to watch an entire movie- uninterrupted. 

Does your family have any online streaming services? We made the switch a couple years ago to go from satellite TV to online streaming only. Currently, we have Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, and Disney+. Basically the options for my kids are endless; which means, more distractions for them and more alone time for me (hopefully).

Forget the toilet paper… Get those chips!

No matter what age child you may be stuck at home with during this time (or even an adult manchild for that matter) snacks are a MUST. When kids are in school we pack only a snack and lunch for them, but for some reason when kids are home they need to eat every 30 minutes. Load up on everyone’s go-to snacks. Now I’m not saying be that asshole that goes and clears the shelves at Walmart or Meijer of all the bags of Lay’s potato chips… but feel free to get yourself a few bags. Both my kids are on big fruit kicks right now, which I love, but obviously fruit doesn’t have a long shelf life, so make sure to stock up on your kids favorite non-perishables because trust me, they’re going to eat them. 

Pinterest is your new best friend

Running out of ideas to keep the kids occupied? Prepare to get lost in a Pinterest Black Hole. Now, I’m not saying turn into a “Pinterest Mom” Well, by all means… do your thing. All I’m saying is, there is no better place out there to get inspiration for literally ANYTHING other than Pinterest. I set aside a good 30 minutes the other day and pinned a bunch of indoor activities for children and wrote down what supplies I would need. Now that I have all/most of my supplies I am going to start testing out all the ideas. Since we don’t know just how long this quarantine is going to last, I’m going to do one Pinterest activity a day. That way I don’t use up all my ideas in 1-2 days. 

Time consuming activities

Nothing fancy or creative here. Just good old fashion time-consuming fun. Line up some activities that will occupy your kids for longer than 30 minutes Yesterday I wanted to clean the house while my daughter was asleep so I told Eli to go in his room and make Batman town out of his Imaginext playsets. He took it one step further and said he will do an Imaginext town and a Lego town and have them Battle. He was in there for almost 2 hours. Win for me. I got 3 rooms cleaned and my car vacuumed in peace. 

Try these:

-100+ piece puzzles

– Lego Challenges: assign them certain designs to create, it will take longer than just tinkering

– Make a book: I have premade empty booklets (pictured below) or you can always DIY a book with paper and a stapler! If your child can’t write the words themselves yet have them draw the pictures and you can write the words for them!

– Outside Time: Spring is coming! Depending where you’re reading from, the weather may be starting to perk up. Sun is starting to shine a little more, the air is getting a little warmer, the snow is starting to melt, so kick those kids outside! Plan an outdoor nature walk, scavenger hunt, ANYTHING. Get them some fresh air and get yourself some space.

School is in session

Oh…that’s right…we’re supposed to be homeschooling our own kids during this quarantine. I almost forgot. The good news is, there are a lot of online options to help you out. 

– ABC Mouse : New sign ups enjoy one month free. It seems after that it is $10/mo, cancel anytime. We have used this in the past and my son really did enjoy it. A lot of the activities are very play based but also have great educational bases

–ABCYA : My son actually told me about this site. It is the one they use in computer class at his school. This website can be used for free, or you can upgrade to the PRO version for $10/mo
–Teachers pay Teachers : If your child does better with pencil and paper learning, check this out. I saw some teachers recommend this to someone on facebook the other day so I checked it out. There is an endless amount of printable activities you can do with your kids. Certain items do require payment but there are also a lot of FREE options available too!
-Reading time: Whether your child is an independent reader, non-reader, or an inbetweener, try to set aside some reading time. When school was in session Eli had to read a new book for class every night (short easy stories) that we always did right before bed. To be honest we did slack off on this. After I was done spring cleaning and organizing his room I stocked his room with books so we can start back up with our nightly story times!

No matter what your plan is for this quarantine, you’re sure to go insane regardless. As much as we love our kids, my god… being trapped in the house with them day in day out is exhausting. Just remember to give yourself mental and physical breaks from your kids and your responsibilities. It’s fine if you’re not actively parenting or teaching every minute of the day. It’s fine if your living room looks like a bomb went off. The day isn’t ruined if the morning dishes are still in the sink. There are 24 hours in a day and we have no idea how long this quarantine could last, so as the flight attendants say- secure your own mask before assisting those around you. Your mental and physical health matters too!