Posted in family, parenting

Believing Our Kids

One thing I have learned about raising young children is they are brutally honest. 

“Look! Mommy got her hair done, do you like it?” 
“No. You look like a poodle.”

“Tommy wants to know if you want to have a playdate.”
“No. I don’t like him. He smells like farts.”

As our kids get older, however, the lies start to slide in. They start small.

“Did you clean up your toys?” yes.
“Did you wash your hands?” yes.
“Did you remember to wipe? yes.

The correct answer to all these is usually no.

As our children grow up, they perfect their fibbing skills. It is up to us as parents to see through their crap. Easier said than done, right? No one knows your kids better than you; the parents should be the first ones to know when our kids our lying. Well, you’d think at least. I feel like, especially in this day and age, parents are blindly believing their children more than they should be. We all want to believe that our children are perfect angels. Maybe because we want to believe that we are great parents, raising great kids. Reality check- NO ONE IS PERFECT. Parents get frustrated, they yell, they lose their temper, they mess up. Kids are the same way; you can do everything you can to raise your kids right and they still turn into little shits. Kids are…kids. They’re too goofy, they can be mean, they’re sneaky. Sometimes kids go through phases, they act out because of home situations, they try to act cool in front of their friends. This is exactly why we need to check our kids once in a while. Don’t always believe them; challenge them, question them. I am always challenging Eli; not because he’s a bad kid or I always suspect him of lying (although, I do a lot) but because I want to remind him that he is the kid and I am the adult. I want him to know that when I ask him to do something, he does it. If I don’t check him every once in a while and he gets away with things more and more it sets a precedent that as long as he gets away with it, he can do whatever he wants. 

Recently I saw a situation involving a friend of mine that really bothered me. A child got in trouble at school and his mother went on a public rant online about the teacher (my friend). She was bashing this teacher from head to toe based solely off what her child had told her. She did not discuss the situation with the teacher or anyone at the school before posting this rant. I am in no way calling this child a liar; based off my own parental experience, I know that children have different viewpoints of situations. Young children are still learning cause-and-effect, social cues, and social interaction skills. The way a child sees or remembers a situation may be different than the way an adult sees the situation. There is never a sure-fire way to know when to believe your child. Again, this is why I believe parents should check their children. I want my children to know they can come to me with anything and that I will always listen and believe them- HOWEVER- I am still going to look into it. Innocent until proven guilty type thing.

If I was the parent in this situation I would listen to my child and believe them until I learn otherwise, but it should NOT have been put on social media before first discussing the situation with all parties directly involved. If that did happen the mother would have learned that before the altercation, her son was being disrespectful to classmates and staff. Now, before getting all the facts, the reputation of my friend has been trampled on. Thankfully she’s a confident bad-ass and won’t let this keep her from doing what she loves. 

Knowing when to believe an adult and when to believe your child is completely situational. There is no set way to go about it. If we always believe our children we are setting the precedent that they are always right and they can do no wrong. If we always believe the adult we are letting our children know that we have no faith in them and that can be dangerous in some situations. Parents need to do their due diligence and find out all the information. 

Parenting is a balancing act. You have to be the enforcer, the confidant, the protector, the supporter, and the caretaker all at the same time. It is an impossible job and there is no perfect way to parent. We all take different paths, we all make different choices. As long as our children are clothed, fed, and happy we are doing just fine as parents. 

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

Christmas Gift Check in

I feel like all parents can relate to me when I say- despite my better judgment, I love spoiling our kids. Now I am a firm believer of living within your means, although around birthdays and holidays we definitely push the limit. I’m not sure what it is about buying gifts for our children, but we can’t help ourselves. Are we buying their love? Are we just getting a bunch of stuff to keep them busy and out of our faces? Regardless of the reason, we all love getting our children a gift that they love and watching their delighted little faces light up when they unwrap it. But sometimes (maybe a lot of times) we pick out some gifts that are complete duds.

Now that Christmas is in the rearview mirror, it’s time to reflect on our pointless purchases. Those gifts you bought that you probably shouldn’t have, but you just knew your child would love. How’d that work out for us? Many of our children’s gifts this year have gone unused, forgotten about, or broken. For science, I’m taking inventory of some of the gifts our children got this year and figuring how many have gone left unused and why. The ‘why’ part to this plays a big factor, are they not using it because it’s too advanced for them or because we just picked out a crappy gift? Let’s see.

Eli’s Gift rundown- 

Rock and Roll Rainbow Piano– Thought it was cool, but not so interested in learning piano. but the babies LOVE IT so I count it as a medium. They love to walk across it and hear the music.

Build your own plane- Loved and used a lot; but it is now sadly in the broken toy graveyard.

Tinker toys– dud. My grandma has these toys at her house and he loves to use them and build things, like his “machine 2000” so she got him his own set, only to find out apparently that they’re only fun to use at GG’s house

DC super hero busy book– used twice. I thought for sure he’d love this because he loves super hero figurines. Nerp.

 magic set– complete dud. Never used. Pieces lost. Mom and Dad fail.

 The best gifts were the whoopee cushion ($2) and the liquid hourglass ($2). He uses both almost daily. Just goes to show, you don’t have to shell out a lot of money for your kids to be happy.

Camille’s gift rundown-

Fisher price laugh and learn smart stages chair– overall a good gift. She does use it often but she (as of now) only using the built in book feature. She LOVES turning pages so that part specifically is a hit

Fisher-Price Brilliant stack & Roll cups– Does it count as successful if she just smashes the cups all over the place and then holds them and walks around? We’ll say medium

Puzzles– age appropriate but she has no interest in them yet except for holding the pieces

Play house shape sorter– Camille is experiencing developmental delays and has no interest at all in stuff like this (which was why I bought it in the first place) but as of now she has no desire for this toy. dud. It is also missing some pieces, despite never being used.

Dollar Store dolly– Camille liked hers and she would walk around with them. Then cousin Olivia came over and ripped them limb from limb. So they went to dolly heaven after just one week.

So you may be wondering, if Camille isn’t using most of her toys, then what is she playing with?

Posted in family, parenting

Fighting the Flu Frenzy

Having one child with the flu is terrible. Having two children with the flu is painful. Having two children with the flu AND having it yourself is hell. 

The flu entered our house last weekend and that b**ch didn’t leave for 6 days. Impossibly high fevers, chills, body aches, coughing, mucus, sneezing, you name it. I did thank my lucky stars that no one threw up. 

So how do you survive taking care of two sick kids and yourself? Well…. You don’t. I do have three tips that may help, though!

Tip #1 –Play their favorite movies and shows on a loop. 

They’re going to want to stay in their bed as much as possible. There is no such thing as too much tv when your kid is sick! I’m pretty sure Eli watched 12 hours of paw patrol and 20 hours of Garfield the past week. Camille averaged about 4 viewings of Trolls a day. Now is not the time to be the “my kids only get 30 min of screen time a day” parent.

Tip #2- Keep the drinks flowing and be prepared to waste food.

Fight off dehydration with fluids- whatever they will drink. Another side tip here- on one of my many trips to the pharmacy this week I discovered colorless flavorless pedialyte. Add it to anything so even the pickiest of kids won’t detect it in their drinks! Your kids probably won’t want to eat much, but every once in a while they may pop their head out of their tv caves with a meek “Mom can I have a snack?” Yes, baby. absolutely! What do you want?? They may answer with cereal, hot dogs, mac n cheese; HOWEVER- the true answer to that question is  “only two bites of something, you can throw the rest away because I will refuse to finish it and will refuse any leftovers.”

Tip #3- Do the bare minimum

Don’t be a hero, do what you gotta do and spend all your free time playing games on your phone, you deserve it. When you’re the mom there isn’t anyone there to take care of you. So remember to self care by taking medicine, drinking plently of water, and beating that level on homescapes you’ve been trying to beat for days now. 

So if the flu hits your household, bunker down and remember my three tips and hopefully you can survive. 

Posted in family, parenting

Bed Time reality

Bedtime is always portrayed in movies, shows, and books as this wonderful bonding moment between child and parent. Rocking your sleepy baby, reading a cute bedtime story, putting your kid to bed at 8pm and not seeing them again until 7am. Gag Me. That is not reality.

What I thought bedtime would look like:

Bedtime Reality:

After 5 years of trying to sleep train Eli I have finally gotten there! I will say after all those nights of checking on him in the night and finding him on the floor or under his bed are finally gone and he is the best sleeper. Give him 15 minutes on kids youtube and he turns his bedtime music on and sleeps 10hrs. What a blessing it is.

Camille on the other hand, sucks. She has never been a good sleeper; except maybe those blissful first couple weeks of infancy where ALL babies do is eat poop and sleep. From months 1-4 she had very bad reflux and we averaged about 3hrs of sleep a night. I had to walk around the house holding her for hours until the reflux burn went away. When it did, she would only sleep on my chest so I would have to sleep sitting up in the middle of my bed surrounded by pillows to keep us propped up. After that she was doing good for a while until we hit the “Up all night, sleep all day” phase. THAT WAS FUN. She would stay up every night until about 4am. Boy we watched a LOT of Netflix. We’d get up to bring Eli to school at 8 then she’d sleep until it was time to pick him up. Fun times.

Am I the only one that is impatiently waiting for the teenage years when all my kids will want do is sleep in???

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

Changes

Per usual, our life is a constant realm of change. It has been a while since I have worked my blog. There was just a lot going on between Eli starting kindergarten, having a new baby in the house, my husband working 12+ hours a day and the laundry and cleaning that never seem to end. I think I really just wanted a break to enjoy my downtime.

We have once again moved across the country. This time we moved in anticipation of my husband getting orders in Michigan. Which, if any military people are reading this, is kind of a jinx. We had got word that the odds were good of getting assigned to Michigan but because the kids and I came out here early to save up some money beforehand, I’m sure we ruined it. At least us being here allows me to be here for a birth (not mine) and two weddings!!

Now that I am back here and life has slowed down a little (and the fact that the baby in the house is becoming more self sufficient), I decided it was time to fire up the old blog; but give it a face lift. Before, my blog was focused mostly on my son’s autism, but the more we are learning and growing the more I want to focus on our life in general rather than our difficulties. When I look at our family, I don’t see us as a family that revolves around a diagnosis. I see us as a regular, relatable family. So this new upgraded blog is just going to be about my crazy life with my crazy kids.

My goal with blogging isn’t to really to inspire people (I don’t see myself as inspirational), but more so just to relate to people. I love to find humor in chaos. So cheers to 2019 and all our messed up crazy lives!!

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

His Friendships Make Me Nervous

Eli has come so far in his social skills. His vocabulary is amazing and he is so smart. He’s more comfortable interacting with others at school and in our neighborhood. Although he’s had such amazing growth I am still very nervous about him making friends. Mainly because kids can be assholes.

Eli is still so very sensitive. The littlest things make him upset. Currently, our biggest issues with him is his crying. At school when he’s told to change tasks he often times gets upset and cries. If the toy he wanted to play with isn’t there, he cries. If I’m not standing on the sidewalk when he gets through the gate, he cries.

At home, if he’s not granted the snack he wants, he cries. If he’s told he has to turn off his iPad and go to bed, he cries. When we can’t go out and do the things he wants to do, he cries.

Most significantly, he cries a lot during interactions with his friends. Whenever there is the smallest disturbance with his friends, he usually ends up crying and running inside. No kidding, as I type this the boys were outside playing tag and Eli just came in crying because he was it (which he’s usually it) and he couldn’t tag the other boys and was getting frustrated so he started crying. Lately when he’s upset he tells his friend he doesn’t love him anymore, and they look at him a little funny. I’ve explained that love is for family and like is for friends. I get very nervous for him because he’s 5 now and kids that age start to judge.

One thing I would LOVE to fix Is the interactions with friends that make him upset. Sometimes Eli is justified for being upset with his friends. Often times when they play tag he is always it, he will finally tag someone and they immediately tag him back. The other kids are a little older and a lot more fast than him, it’s almost an impossible game. Sometimes, though, Eli’s fits are unjustified. One time some of the kids were getting ready to play four square. Eli didn’t want to play and continued playing with his cars. His friend told him to move over so he didn’t get hit- Eli took that as go away we don’t want you here.

So how exactly do you get your child to stop crying for non-crying situations? You can’t just tell someone to stop crying. He feels these emotions and runs with them. I love the fact that he’s so passionate; he generally enjoys life. The problem is that even though his highs are high, his lows get extremely low. The only good thing about his behavior is the blow outs never last long. When he’s upset about a situation he is usually over it within a couple minutes. For the time being, his friends seem to forget about it almost instantly, too. As soon as he’s calmed down and wants to go back outside, they welcome him.

Another issue my husband and I are noticing is that Eli isn’t standing up for himself. He is new to socialization so he just kind of rolls with whatever the other kids too. When his friend comes over here he runs the show. They do whatever he wants to do. Which is usually play with Elis Ipad or Wii. Which are both one player so Eli either watches or plays something else. All we can do for that is regulate or tell them to do something together.

Really I think my nerves are normal and to be expected. Any parent probably feels like this sometimes (right?). All I can do is guide him, give him advice, and let him learn on his own. Friendships can be hard, especially new ones. But there’s not a doubt in my mind that Eli will find some great friends that are a perfect match for him and he will be just fine.

Posted in family, parenting, Uncategorized

More Time to Fill

Ya’ll would not believe….

Monday morning I was all excited because Eli was going back to school. I got him dressed in a snazzy outfit, packed his lunch, got his backpack ready. We got in the car and headed to school. As I grew closer to the parking lot, I notice there’s not a lot of cars around as there usually is. Pull up to the gate and it’s closed and locked; not a car in the parking lot.

….SPRING BREAK IS TWO WEEKS LONG!!!!!!

Who the hell has two week long spring breaks? This is asinine. What am I supposed to do for another entire week? Well, it’s Friday so let me tell you what we did… NOTHING….AGAIN. Well, ok, we did a little bit.

Last Friday my husband was off work so we took both kids to the park where Eli and his dad took a row boat out onto the water. Eli loved it, except when they got attacked by a rogue goose. After that, Eli and I went to our housing’s Easter event. Painted mini canvases and ate a little food.

Then there was Easter. I was in bed with Camille watching cartoons waiting for Eli to get up. I finally get up to go check on him. I find him downstairs, already found and opened all the eggs and got his basket….

Eli is also a couple weeks into soccer season. We have a one hour practice twice a week and a game on Saturdays. That’s probably the most exciting thing going on in our lives.

IMG_5800

The rest of our days were spent watching tv, making car tracks, and having Eli outside as much as possible. He’s really gotten close to a couple kids in the neighborhood so I ship him out as much as possible. Although that usually ends with both boys in my house playing video games.

IMG_5887-1

Sure, there are tons of things we could go out and do; but packing a diaper bag for a 30 minute trip to the park is exhausting. A 15 minute trip to the grocery store the other day  was enough for me after Camille hit her head on the car-themed shopping cart as soon as we got in the door. She fussed and cried the entire time we were there.

IMG_5918-2

I’ve come to terms that nothing exciting will happen this spring break. Trying to do big outings is just too much work, especially when, during the week, its two against one. I think during spring break, I’d rather just break.

IMG_5869